Remembering Miles...

Tomorrow we celebrate our son, Miles. He was born with Hayden and Ava on Dec 4, 2003. He lived for almost one month. He passed away on Dec. 31, 2003. He started out so strong and actuallly was doing the best out of the three of them. In the end his little body just couldn't fight anymore. He went into kidney failure. At the time I was admitted back into the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery and gall stone removal. So I was out of it. I remember going to visit him while I was in the hospital and he looked so bad. He had gotten so puffy from holding onto to fluid. I guess in my mind I just thought they could give him so medicine and he would be fine. I had no idea that he was doing so badly. I am pretty sure that I was in denial. I couldn't imagine losing another child. We had gotten so far. It just couldn't happen again it just wouldn't be fair. On Dec 31 in the early am we got the dreaded phone call from the hospital. We were told that Miles had a massive seizure and they were keeping him alive for us to get to the hospital. Brian drove so fast to the hospital. When we got there (we had already called my parents and they called the rest of the family to come to the hospital) we talked with a doctor and we decided to let him go. Very, very, very hard decision to make. You know in your brain what to do but it is your child and you want to be able to do everything for them and make them better. This was a time that we had to let him go "home" to his maker and real Father. They put us in a room and I sat in a rocking chair and after they took him off the machines they wrapped him up and brought him to us. I got to hold him as he went to his Father. He didn't stay with us long. All of our family got to take turns holding him and say their good byes. It was so hard. The next day was the only day we did not go up to see Hayden and Ava. The next day when we did go was very hard to walk back in. We had to look at Miles' empty spot. I broke down, literally, before we walked in. I remember Brian telling me, "We have two babies in there that need us." I was then able to walk in. We miss you and love you very much, Miles. You will always be in our hearts!

The following pictures are just some of what we have. I have a bunch more from the night he passed away but I still have not developed those.