Remembering Miles...

Tomorrow we celebrate our son, Miles. He was born with Hayden and Ava on Dec 4, 2003. He lived for almost one month. He passed away on Dec. 31, 2003. He started out so strong and actuallly was doing the best out of the three of them. In the end his little body just couldn't fight anymore. He went into kidney failure. At the time I was admitted back into the hospital for emergency gallbladder surgery and gall stone removal. So I was out of it. I remember going to visit him while I was in the hospital and he looked so bad. He had gotten so puffy from holding onto to fluid. I guess in my mind I just thought they could give him so medicine and he would be fine. I had no idea that he was doing so badly. I am pretty sure that I was in denial. I couldn't imagine losing another child. We had gotten so far. It just couldn't happen again it just wouldn't be fair. On Dec 31 in the early am we got the dreaded phone call from the hospital. We were told that Miles had a massive seizure and they were keeping him alive for us to get to the hospital. Brian drove so fast to the hospital. When we got there (we had already called my parents and they called the rest of the family to come to the hospital) we talked with a doctor and we decided to let him go. Very, very, very hard decision to make. You know in your brain what to do but it is your child and you want to be able to do everything for them and make them better. This was a time that we had to let him go "home" to his maker and real Father. They put us in a room and I sat in a rocking chair and after they took him off the machines they wrapped him up and brought him to us. I got to hold him as he went to his Father. He didn't stay with us long. All of our family got to take turns holding him and say their good byes. It was so hard. The next day was the only day we did not go up to see Hayden and Ava. The next day when we did go was very hard to walk back in. We had to look at Miles' empty spot. I broke down, literally, before we walked in. I remember Brian telling me, "We have two babies in there that need us." I was then able to walk in. We miss you and love you very much, Miles. You will always be in our hearts!

The following pictures are just some of what we have. I have a bunch more from the night he passed away but I still have not developed those.

Christmas Memories...

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas! We did! We spent xmas eve afternoon at my mom's. We opened presents from our family. Then we ate some yummy food. Then some of us went to the xmas eve service at our church. Xmas morning the kide were so excited! They had so much fun putting cookies, milk, and carrots out for Santa. Santa even left them a thank you note in the morning. My parents came in the am to watch them open presents from us. Then we had xmas lunch at my house. It was actually relaxing! After we opened presents we went over to my mom's house to watch a movie. Then Friday am Brian and I went shopping. We ended up buying a new computer, printer, and I got myself an IPod. We went over to my mom's house to open our stockings and eat brunch. Then we relaxed and watched another movie. It really has been a wonderful xmas. We had a lot of laughs. Hayden was very concerned that Santa would get very dirty coming down our chimney. So cute!

It was a xmas miracle. Hayden and Ava sitting side by side playing nicely and quietly!

Putting out the cookies, milk, and carrots (Yes, Ava has her legs crossed. She's such a girl)

Hayden with his fire truck from Santa

They got colt plates and cups

Ava got a bunch of Littlest Pet Shop toys

They got digital cameras. Hayden has become our photographer. He takes pictures of everything. He was opening our cabinets and taking pictures (He could make a good insurance man)

In action

My xmas table

Waiting patiently until their turn to open presents

My cousin, Andy, got this hood thingy from our Grandma (he lives in Chicago). It was hilarious. He kept saying, "I will not wear this. Who would wear this?" It was so funny. My grandma usually makes us laugh each year with one of her gifts. She tries so hard! We love you Grandma!

HELP!!!

Can anyone tell me how to change my blogger template to minima?

My Graduation and misc....

Yes, I did graduate on Dec 13. It has taken me awhile to finally get my post done. So, there are a lot pictures. Graduation was great! It was a surreal experience. It lasted three hours due to the full mass. Hayden and Ava got to watch me graduate (they came during the graduation part). That meant a lot to me because they are the very reason why I went nursing school. After graduation my parents had a graduation party for me. It was a very nice party.

Me and my mom

My good buddy, Ashley

The three muskateers

The family

My cake (we were laughing because it looks like I graduated in the 60's)

The yummy spread!

I graduated with honors

I know, big surprise with this award

My wonderful, supportive husband and myself

My diploma

Emmie, Me, Aunt Julie, my mom, Lola

Ava and Hayden at my graduation party

My little bubby

We made a gingerbread house while Nana and Opa were here for my graduation

They got to open their xmas presents from Nana and Opa while they were here

Hanging out with Nana

Ava with her Fancy Nancy doll

Hayden with his Geo Trax Airplane

Hayden and Ava had their xmas program at church the same weekend I graduated

This picture was not supposed to be uploaded (Oh well!)

My princess, Brian

The finished gingerbread house

Last week I got to go to Hayden's class to make a gingerbread house with him. He was so excited

Before their xmas program at church

Hayden said the twizzlers were wires (who knows)

My motivation to get through school

My other good buddy, Megan

My other set of parents, Johnny and Paula (Brian's parents)

Nana and Opa reading their bedtime story

My little graduate!

I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas!

I'm Graduating!!!!!

That's right folks! I am graduating from nursing school tomorrow at 9am at the Civic Center. I am super excited! It has been a long road. In the afternoon my parents are having an open house for me, too. It will be a full day! It will be bittersweet tomorrow, too. I have met a lot of great people the past two years. They have been a great support system. We have had a lot of laughs, too. After our graduation practice yesturday, a bunch of us went out to celebrate our accomplishment. It was hilarious to say the least. I hope everyone has a great day tomorrow, mine should be memorable!

Ava's Christmas Program

Ava had her Christmas program last night. She did a great job! She sang all her songs and did all the movements. The only requirement she had was to not smile at her and don't tell her "good job." I know, weird! Anyway, after she was done we told her "good job" and smiled at her and she was beaming. She was proud of herself. Then, Hayden wanted to see her classroom. He was so excited to see her room and all the things she has made. It was a nice evening.

Sidenote: My dad had a hip replacement on Monday. He came home today and is doing great!

Tomorrow we have senior send off and then graduation practice. I am super excited. Brian's parents come tomorrow, also. Then Saturday is the big day! Graduation starts at 9am. It will last three hours. There is a full mass, pinning ceremony, and then graduation. Then, my parents are doing an open house for me in the afternoon. It is going to be a busy rest of the week, but definitely fun!!!!!